Chapter Eight

Sarah was just on her way out the door when her cell phone rang and Becky, her bakery manager, informed her that Carlos, the delivery guy, was just driving up to the shop. Sarah had been headed over to her store to make the deliveries herself after Becky had called twenty minutes earlier to tell her that Carlos was MIA. Another crisis averted! Once again Sarah realized that the life of an entrepreneur was not for the faint-hearted. With enormous relief, she hung her raincoat back on the hook and settled into her cozy chair for a rare day off. It was a gloomy Sunday, and she had had an odd evening the night before and relished the thought of some solitude and calm. Actually, she had also imbibed more than her usual amount (three and a half rather than two glasses) of her favorite Australian Shiraz, and her head was throbbing.
Of course, it was a classic dating error, drinking more alcohol when the date is not going well in the hopes that the buzz will somehow make the evening more bearable. It rarely works and always leaves you feeling terrible the next morning. Today was no exception.

Sarah brewed a pot of ginger tea, making it extra strong the way she liked it, in the hope that it would settle both her head and stomach. Then she settled back into her cozy chair and tried to figure out why the evening had been so unsuccessful. The man she met for dinner, S-43, looked like the great uncle of the man whose smiling face she'd seen in his profile on the Singles.com website. Sarah always found it slightly disconcerting when men felt the need to showcase a younger, better-looking version of themselves in order to make a great cyber-impression. It made her want to be even more vigilant about posting updated photos of herself.

Sarah had kept a log of all the men she'd met on the site, and if she only met them once or twice, she continued to think of them by the numerical nickname she assigned them. S-43 was the forty-third man she'd met from the Singles site. Abby had given her an embroidered pillow once that said "There are plenty of fish in the sea....keep on casting!" Sarah was ready to retire her hook and she was starting to  think that perhaps her lures were not all that alluring. The men she attracted were never captivating to her; in all honesty, she found most of them bored her to tears. Sometimes, she pretended that she was a reporter and the man across the table from her was some famous movie star or diplomat that she had to write a cover story about. The men usually loved this approach because they felt that Sarah was fascinated by them and eager to soak up each juicy drop of their life story.

S-43's story went something like this:
*Born in Indiana to a self-absorbed mother who had wanted to be an actress but never got out of the small town she'd been born in after getting knocked up by the local high school football star at 17.
*Raised by his mother and a fairly long list of step-fathers  or "uncles" from her 6 marriages and assorted other relationships, he had always felt the lack of a dependable male role model.
*Put himself through Indiana State on a wrestling scholarship.
*Married his college sweetheart and moved to Chicago for a job opportunity with her father.
*Had three sons. Now ages 25, 22 and 20. The twenty-five year old had attended the Naval Academy and was now on a ship overseas. The middle son was graduating from Northwestern and would be looking for work for a year before probably going to Law School. The youngest had been their "problem child," finding himself in and out of rehab after multiple encounters with the law over drug-related charges. S-43 teared up when he spoke of him and Sarah felt moved by his fatherly devotion, but also a bit reluctant about getting involved with someone who had such large and unresolved parenting issues. It was one thing to marry and start a family and deal together with life's hurdles, it was another thing entirely to join the journey mid-stream and walk into someone's else's challenges with your eyes wide open. Suitcase number one.
*S-43 had suffered a bout of prostate cancer last year at 49, but he seemed to feel fine now. Though there were still some residual "kinks in the equipment," the doctors had assured him that the prognosis was good. More baggage; another heavy suitcase.
*S-43 assured Sarah that he and his ex had a friendly relationship but not TOO friendly. "We get on really well, and even though it would be easy to be "exes with benefits," we've avoided intimacy since our divorce, for the most part." For the most part??????? Suitcase number three!!!!!
*He had a severe allergic reaction to ant bites and carried an EPI-pen with him at all times.
*S-43 had been in the real estate business but since the economy tanked, he has had to look for a different line of work. He recently took bartending lessons and juggling classes and was hoping to open up a circus-themed bar called "Send in the Clowns." He described the decor for  Sarah, a riotous mix of  Barnum & Bailey memorabilia (which he'd luckily been collecting for forty years--ever since he attended  a performance on his tenth birthday) and servers dressed as clowns. Before Sarah could stop him, S-43 pulled over one of the waiters at the restaurant and asked for five lemons, whole not sliced.
When she brought them to the table, S-43 regaled Sarah and the rest of the diners with an impromptu juggling performance. It was almost flawless, but he did send one lemon flying into a rather distinguished looking gentleman's lobster bisque. At that point, the restaurant manager gently asked S-43 to end the performance.
*S-43 also shared with Sarah that he has an odd little tattoo on his right butt cheek that says "No way!!"
He explained the tattoo's origins to Sarah  with a very long and involved story that included a fraternity brother's dare and a bowl of vodka-filled strawberry jello.

By the end of the evening, Sarah knew all of the above facts about S-43 and a few others which are equally arbitrary and revealing. This is what he did NOT know about Sarah by the end of the evening:

*She has a violent fear of snakes and clowns.
*She wishes that she could be a mother.
"Her first marriage ended on the honeymoon.
*She hates red roses and loves yellow tulips.
"She owns a bakery called "Sarah's Sweet Cakes."
"She hates internet dating.
"He was her 43rd date from the Singles.com site.
*She is very close to her sister Abigail's children.
*She loves her mother but finds her controlling nature exhausting to deal with.
*She's allergic to almonds and often wakes up smelling the scent of fresh vanilla beans.
*She loves her yoga class and finds some of the poses make her insanely horny.
*She loves reading People Magazine and US Weekly but fervently denies her addiction.
*She is still waiting to have her adolescent rebellion.
*The World According to Garp was the book that turned her into a reader.
*If she were limited to one type of food and only that food for the rest of her life, she'd choose pickles over cake.
*The body part she is most proud of is her shockingly symmetrical toes.
*She adores roasted brussel sprouts.
*She once ate forty-three hotdogs in an hour to beat a boyfriend in a hotdog-eating contest.
*She secretly hopes to marry again on April 4th, 2014 the day that  she turns 44. Considering that that date is only about 20 months away, Sarah realizes that it seems highly unlikely that her wish will come to pass.

These are things that S-43 DID know about Sarah by the end of the evening.

*She likes to cook.
*She grew up in Chicago.
*She is a very, very, very, very, very good listener.