Sarah felt uneasy in the way she always felt uneasy when she had to tell her mother something that Miriam would not want to hear. The entire day, Sarah had felt as if the words themselves were actively engaged in a battle to stay buried in her gut. It was a familiar sensation. She had felt this way when she called from the airport to tell her parents why her honeymoon was being cut short and why she was returning home alone. She had felt this way when she drove Miriam to the empty storefront and explained to her that she would be opening up a bakery as her full-time career. Damn it anyway! When was she going to stop caring what Miriam thought?
Just then her cell phone rang and Sarah answered to hear her mother screaming into the phone, "Wake up, Saul!"
"Mom, what's going on? What's wrong with Saul?"
Her mother's words were clipped and filled with anxiety. "I don't know. I don't know. I think I've roused him but I need to take him to see Dr. Lin."
"If you need to take a raincheck on our dinner, we can do it later this week."
There was a long pause before Miriam responded. "No, I'm sure I'll be back by 6pm. I want to hear your news."
Sarah sighed quietly and understood that there would be no reprieve today. 'OK, Mom. I hope Saul is fine. Call me when you get back from the Vet's."
After they hung up, Sarah got on the internet again and perused the website that had become her latest obsession. Her friend, Carrie, had suggested this site because it was the same one her sister had used when she adopted her son from Russia. Children Everywhere Inc. had a stellar reputation and had even been written up in the NY Times a few months ago as one of the only international adoption agencies that actually did the rigorous research necessary to create a full and complete health profile for each child in their database. They also were one of the only agencies that worked in multiple countries and regions.
Sarah had some qualms about looking for children in the same way one would shop for shoes online, but she realized that as the world had changed, so had the possibilities for bringing lives together in a kind of extended global family. Some days, the thought that all of these children were in need of homes was overwhelming to her. So many beautiful faces and sad eyes staring back at her from the computer screen always moved Sarah and made her want to adopt all of them rather than just one child. The practical side of her, however, knew that one child would be plenty for her to handle on her own. She figured that she'd probably looked at the photos and descriptions of at least 60 kids in four or five different countries, but there were two whom she came back day after day.
There was a three year old girl from a rural province in China whose given name was Bao and a five year old boy from Ethiopia named Mulu Alem. Sarah had been fascinated by the names and when she searched for their meanings on the internet, she was startled at how perfect the translations were. Bao means "precious treasure," and the boy's name translates as "whole world." No matter how many children's faces she saw, it was Bao and Mulu Alem who played together in her dreams.
Miriam called a few hours later to say that Dr. Lin had suggested that Saul stay overnight at the animal hospital so he could be properly monitored. That left Miriam free to go to dinner. Sarah picked her up and they headed over to the Urban Appetite where Jeff had reserved a lovely corner table for them.
As soon as the hostess seated them, Miriam leaned over and whispered into Sarah's ear, "I take it by the three table settings that Jeff will be joining us for dinner. You're really making it much too easy to guess your little surprise, darling."
As awareness of Miriam's misunderstanding trickled into her brain, Sarah tried to think of a quick way to avert the inevitable disaster that would ensure when Miriam learned that she had made a faulty assumption. However, before she had time for damage control, Jeff appeared at the table with an elderly man in tow. The man looked vaguely familiar, but Sarah couldn't quite place him. Miriam, on the other hand, jumped right up and gave him a very uncharacteristically warm embrace. "My God Miriam," he said."You are a sight for sore eyes. What kind of witchcraft has kept you looking like a fifty-year old when all the rest of us have aged?"
Jeff noticed the quizzical look on Sarah's face and grabbed her by the elbow to join the others. "Sarah, you remember my dad, Henry, don't you?"
Sarah stepped back and looked at the two men and the striking family resemblance. He had much less hair than the last time she'd seen him, but he still had the twinkly eyes and deep voice that Sarah remembered from years ago.
"Of course. Mr. Gordon, its so good to see you!" Sarah hugged the elderly gentleman and realized that he was still a strong hugger. When he hugged you, you felt that he meant it.
Miriam had an odd little smile on her face that Sarah had missed seeing for quite a long time.
"Last I heard, you'd retired to Florida. Palm Beach wasn't it?"
"You're still sharp as a tack, Mims. Yup. Spent about eight years down there but it didn't really agree with me. A man can only take so much sun and relaxation," he said with a grin.
The servers were struggling to get by the four adults reminiscing in the restaurant's precious standing area, so Jeff gently guided them back to their seats.
"I hope it wasnt too presumptuous of me,"he said, "but I had them set a place at your table for dad. I figured he and Miriam would have lots of catching up to do after all these years."
Sarah looked up at Jeff and could've sworn he winked at her, but before she could respond, he'd walked back to the kitchen. She did notice the questioning glance that Miriam sent her way, but it was quickly altered into an expression of .... What was that expression on her mother's face? If she didn't know her better, she would have said that her mother was actually flirting. How funny would that be!!!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Chapter Nine
Miriam unlocked the door of the laboratory she'd rented, and hung her briefcase and her purse on the hook by the door. Then she locked and double-locked the door behind her. She smiled to herself as she replayed the phone conversation she had just had with Rona while driving to the lab. Rona was convinced that Miriam had a secret lover and that was why she had been acting "so mysterious" lately. Certainly, Miriam's behavior had probably raised a few red flags with those who knew her well. After all, whenever she immersed herself in a new project, she had the tendency to become obsessive about it. Since Rona knew that Miriam was retired from her medical career, she assumed that Miriam must be seeing someone. Miriam decided that it was fun to have a secret. Besides, Rona and the girls would absolutely have her committed if they knew what she was really up to.
There was an odd scent in the air leftover from the previous renters. Perhaps it was formaldehyde, but Miriam couldn't be sure. The odor didn't bother her. On the contrary, she actually enjoyed the smell of chemicals; it was bodily odors that had always felt like an assault to her senses. When the girls were in diapers, she'd turned stinky diaper changes over to Granny Sue or Phil. "My nose is too sensitive," she'd say. Here in the lab, among the smells and equipment that had been such an integral part of her life for so long, Miriam felt herself come to life again. She was back in her element. This was probably the greatest challenge she'd ever undergone and it completely captivated her. The secrecy surrounding it added significantly to her enjoyment.
She sat down on a metal stool at the counter and tried to determine which traits of Saul's were most important to her to replicate. Fleetingly, the God-like nature of her task startled her, but she dismissed her doubts as swiftly as one might shoo away a pesky mosquito. Miriam was not a woman who was accustomed to second-guessing herself. Even when others convinced her that she was wrong, she had a hard time admitting it.
Once, when she was a young girl, she had seen a dog in the alley behind her house running with something in his mouth. A tall man ran behind him and yelled what Miriam assumed must have been the dog's name. "Badger! Badger!" he screamed. Miriam watched the scene unfold as if she were transfixed. When the man finally reached the dog, he yanked on a chain around the dog's neck and Miriam could see that the dog had a small baby clenched between his very sharp teeth. Most little girls would have been horrified by the scene, but Miriam was merely fascinated. As Miriam walked closer to get a better look, she realized that the baby was a very lifelike rag doll. At that point, Miriam became quite a bit less enthralled, but she stayed to watch the outcome nevertheless.
The man's first approach was aggressive; he tried to use his strength to pull the doll away from the dog, but that just made Badger dig in deeper. Then, he took something out of his pocket as if he was going to offer it up as a trade, but the dog seemed completely disinterested. Finally, he tried to outsmart the dog. The man walked away as if he had given up, as if Badger had won. Miriam thought she even heard him mutter, "she's all yours, you damn mutt!" Suddenly, he turned around and grabbed the doll again, clearly hoping that Badger's grip would have lessened, that the dog would have let down his guard. It didn't work and the man went home empty-handed, presumably to explain to his young daughter that he would have to buy her another doll. That scene made an indelible mark on Miriam's brain. Most girls would have sympathized with the doll owner. They would have feared the dog's aggression and tenacity. But Miriam was never like most girls. She decided from that day on to be Badger. She would be fearless and unyielding. Nothing would ever be taken from her grip until she was done with it. She believed that these Badger-like qualities had served her well. After all, hadn't she kept Phil around twenty-three years longer than his doctors had predicted?
Now, she was trying to make sure that her beloved cat would have another chance at life. She thought that cloning was especially fitting for felines since they were already supposed to have nine lives. Miriam took out a pen and yellow legal pad from her briefcase and started to make a list of the supplies she would need. When her cell phone rang, it took her a few minutes to track down where she'd put it. She found it on the counter nearest the door just before the last ring.
"Mom!" Sarah said. "Where have you been? I've tried you for the last twenty minutes."
"I don't know how that could be," Miriam said. "The phone's been here with me all along." Miriam assumed that she had been so immersed in the flow of her project that she'd completely ignored the phone's ringing.
"Where is here?"
Miriam truly disliked lying, but her policy of "Necessary Honesty" sometimes required that she get creative with the truth. "I'm out and about."
"Mother, you are acting so odd. Odder than usual. Rona called me. She's really worried that you're up to something. She thinks that you're dating someone and you're trying to protect us from him or maybe you're protecting him from us." Sarah paused and laughed at herself.
"I'm sorry, Mom. Honestly, I didn't mean for that to sound like the Inquisition. I hope you are dating. I hope you've met someone wonderful. I mean it."
Miriam was both touched by her daughter's concern and tickled by how off-the-mark she was.
"I am not in the market for a new man, thank you very much. If I find a great guy, I will be sure to send him your way, my dear."
Sarah sighed audibly and realized that, once again, Miriam had escaped the hot seat by focusing the attention back on Sarah.
"Not cool, Mother! My love life is not open for discussion."
"Have you seen Jeff lately?"
"Subtle, Mom. Actually, he stopped by the store yesterday to sample some new dessert options for the restaurant. He had his daughters with him. It seems that Kate is a bit interested in baking. I showed her all around the kitchen and she seemed genuinely fascinated. I told her that she could come apprentice one summer when she gets a little older. She seemed thrilled. Her twin sister Kelly, on the other hand, didn't seem one speck interested in anything to do with food. Jeff told me that she is actually a very accomplished equestrian who has racked up an impressive array of medals at horse shows. I told her about my unfortunate attempt to ride a horse when I was at summer camp."
"You've ridden a horse since then haven't you? That was a million years ago!"
"Not quite a million, Mother. And no, I did not abide by common wisdom and get right back on the horse, so I'm still pretty terrified."
"How on earth did I raise such a fearful daughter?"
"Just lucky, I guess. Anyway, I'd love to dissect my flaws once again with you but I actually called you for a reason. I've made a decision about something and I know it will surprise you, but I need to let you know what I'm going to do."
"That sounds awfully ominous," said Miriam.
"Not really, but I do need to tell you in person so let's have dinner tomorrow night. Where would you like to go?"
"Let's meet at Urban Appetite at 7pm."
"Mom, you just want to go there to push me in Jeff's face."
"You're being ridiculous, Sarah. I simply have a craving for his crab cakes."
"Fine. Whatever. Shall I pick you up at 645?"
"No, lets meet there. I have some errands to run tomorrow afternoon."
After the call ended, Miriam gazed at the list she'd been writing, but her eyes weren't focusing on any of the supplies. Instead, she was trying to figure out what Sarah's secret might be. Funny, Miriam thought, I'm not the only one who is acting mysterious!
There was an odd scent in the air leftover from the previous renters. Perhaps it was formaldehyde, but Miriam couldn't be sure. The odor didn't bother her. On the contrary, she actually enjoyed the smell of chemicals; it was bodily odors that had always felt like an assault to her senses. When the girls were in diapers, she'd turned stinky diaper changes over to Granny Sue or Phil. "My nose is too sensitive," she'd say. Here in the lab, among the smells and equipment that had been such an integral part of her life for so long, Miriam felt herself come to life again. She was back in her element. This was probably the greatest challenge she'd ever undergone and it completely captivated her. The secrecy surrounding it added significantly to her enjoyment.
She sat down on a metal stool at the counter and tried to determine which traits of Saul's were most important to her to replicate. Fleetingly, the God-like nature of her task startled her, but she dismissed her doubts as swiftly as one might shoo away a pesky mosquito. Miriam was not a woman who was accustomed to second-guessing herself. Even when others convinced her that she was wrong, she had a hard time admitting it.
Once, when she was a young girl, she had seen a dog in the alley behind her house running with something in his mouth. A tall man ran behind him and yelled what Miriam assumed must have been the dog's name. "Badger! Badger!" he screamed. Miriam watched the scene unfold as if she were transfixed. When the man finally reached the dog, he yanked on a chain around the dog's neck and Miriam could see that the dog had a small baby clenched between his very sharp teeth. Most little girls would have been horrified by the scene, but Miriam was merely fascinated. As Miriam walked closer to get a better look, she realized that the baby was a very lifelike rag doll. At that point, Miriam became quite a bit less enthralled, but she stayed to watch the outcome nevertheless.
The man's first approach was aggressive; he tried to use his strength to pull the doll away from the dog, but that just made Badger dig in deeper. Then, he took something out of his pocket as if he was going to offer it up as a trade, but the dog seemed completely disinterested. Finally, he tried to outsmart the dog. The man walked away as if he had given up, as if Badger had won. Miriam thought she even heard him mutter, "she's all yours, you damn mutt!" Suddenly, he turned around and grabbed the doll again, clearly hoping that Badger's grip would have lessened, that the dog would have let down his guard. It didn't work and the man went home empty-handed, presumably to explain to his young daughter that he would have to buy her another doll. That scene made an indelible mark on Miriam's brain. Most girls would have sympathized with the doll owner. They would have feared the dog's aggression and tenacity. But Miriam was never like most girls. She decided from that day on to be Badger. She would be fearless and unyielding. Nothing would ever be taken from her grip until she was done with it. She believed that these Badger-like qualities had served her well. After all, hadn't she kept Phil around twenty-three years longer than his doctors had predicted?
Now, she was trying to make sure that her beloved cat would have another chance at life. She thought that cloning was especially fitting for felines since they were already supposed to have nine lives. Miriam took out a pen and yellow legal pad from her briefcase and started to make a list of the supplies she would need. When her cell phone rang, it took her a few minutes to track down where she'd put it. She found it on the counter nearest the door just before the last ring.
"Mom!" Sarah said. "Where have you been? I've tried you for the last twenty minutes."
"I don't know how that could be," Miriam said. "The phone's been here with me all along." Miriam assumed that she had been so immersed in the flow of her project that she'd completely ignored the phone's ringing.
"Where is here?"
Miriam truly disliked lying, but her policy of "Necessary Honesty" sometimes required that she get creative with the truth. "I'm out and about."
"Mother, you are acting so odd. Odder than usual. Rona called me. She's really worried that you're up to something. She thinks that you're dating someone and you're trying to protect us from him or maybe you're protecting him from us." Sarah paused and laughed at herself.
"I'm sorry, Mom. Honestly, I didn't mean for that to sound like the Inquisition. I hope you are dating. I hope you've met someone wonderful. I mean it."
Miriam was both touched by her daughter's concern and tickled by how off-the-mark she was.
"I am not in the market for a new man, thank you very much. If I find a great guy, I will be sure to send him your way, my dear."
Sarah sighed audibly and realized that, once again, Miriam had escaped the hot seat by focusing the attention back on Sarah.
"Not cool, Mother! My love life is not open for discussion."
"Have you seen Jeff lately?"
"Subtle, Mom. Actually, he stopped by the store yesterday to sample some new dessert options for the restaurant. He had his daughters with him. It seems that Kate is a bit interested in baking. I showed her all around the kitchen and she seemed genuinely fascinated. I told her that she could come apprentice one summer when she gets a little older. She seemed thrilled. Her twin sister Kelly, on the other hand, didn't seem one speck interested in anything to do with food. Jeff told me that she is actually a very accomplished equestrian who has racked up an impressive array of medals at horse shows. I told her about my unfortunate attempt to ride a horse when I was at summer camp."
"You've ridden a horse since then haven't you? That was a million years ago!"
"Not quite a million, Mother. And no, I did not abide by common wisdom and get right back on the horse, so I'm still pretty terrified."
"How on earth did I raise such a fearful daughter?"
"Just lucky, I guess. Anyway, I'd love to dissect my flaws once again with you but I actually called you for a reason. I've made a decision about something and I know it will surprise you, but I need to let you know what I'm going to do."
"That sounds awfully ominous," said Miriam.
"Not really, but I do need to tell you in person so let's have dinner tomorrow night. Where would you like to go?"
"Let's meet at Urban Appetite at 7pm."
"Mom, you just want to go there to push me in Jeff's face."
"You're being ridiculous, Sarah. I simply have a craving for his crab cakes."
"Fine. Whatever. Shall I pick you up at 645?"
"No, lets meet there. I have some errands to run tomorrow afternoon."
After the call ended, Miriam gazed at the list she'd been writing, but her eyes weren't focusing on any of the supplies. Instead, she was trying to figure out what Sarah's secret might be. Funny, Miriam thought, I'm not the only one who is acting mysterious!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Chapter Eight
Sarah was just on her way out the door when her cell phone rang and Becky, her bakery manager, informed her that Carlos, the delivery guy, was just driving up to the shop. Sarah had been headed over to her store to make the deliveries herself after Becky had called twenty minutes earlier to tell her that Carlos was MIA. Another crisis averted! Once again Sarah realized that the life of an entrepreneur was not for the faint-hearted. With enormous relief, she hung her raincoat back on the hook and settled into her cozy chair for a rare day off. It was a gloomy Sunday, and she had had an odd evening the night before and relished the thought of some solitude and calm. Actually, she had also imbibed more than her usual amount (three and a half rather than two glasses) of her favorite Australian Shiraz, and her head was throbbing.
Of course, it was a classic dating error, drinking more alcohol when the date is not going well in the hopes that the buzz will somehow make the evening more bearable. It rarely works and always leaves you feeling terrible the next morning. Today was no exception.
Sarah brewed a pot of ginger tea, making it extra strong the way she liked it, in the hope that it would settle both her head and stomach. Then she settled back into her cozy chair and tried to figure out why the evening had been so unsuccessful. The man she met for dinner, S-43, looked like the great uncle of the man whose smiling face she'd seen in his profile on the Singles.com website. Sarah always found it slightly disconcerting when men felt the need to showcase a younger, better-looking version of themselves in order to make a great cyber-impression. It made her want to be even more vigilant about posting updated photos of herself.
Sarah had kept a log of all the men she'd met on the site, and if she only met them once or twice, she continued to think of them by the numerical nickname she assigned them. S-43 was the forty-third man she'd met from the Singles site. Abby had given her an embroidered pillow once that said "There are plenty of fish in the sea....keep on casting!" Sarah was ready to retire her hook and she was starting to think that perhaps her lures were not all that alluring. The men she attracted were never captivating to her; in all honesty, she found most of them bored her to tears. Sometimes, she pretended that she was a reporter and the man across the table from her was some famous movie star or diplomat that she had to write a cover story about. The men usually loved this approach because they felt that Sarah was fascinated by them and eager to soak up each juicy drop of their life story.
S-43's story went something like this:
*Born in Indiana to a self-absorbed mother who had wanted to be an actress but never got out of the small town she'd been born in after getting knocked up by the local high school football star at 17.
*Raised by his mother and a fairly long list of step-fathers or "uncles" from her 6 marriages and assorted other relationships, he had always felt the lack of a dependable male role model.
*Put himself through Indiana State on a wrestling scholarship.
*Married his college sweetheart and moved to Chicago for a job opportunity with her father.
*Had three sons. Now ages 25, 22 and 20. The twenty-five year old had attended the Naval Academy and was now on a ship overseas. The middle son was graduating from Northwestern and would be looking for work for a year before probably going to Law School. The youngest had been their "problem child," finding himself in and out of rehab after multiple encounters with the law over drug-related charges. S-43 teared up when he spoke of him and Sarah felt moved by his fatherly devotion, but also a bit reluctant about getting involved with someone who had such large and unresolved parenting issues. It was one thing to marry and start a family and deal together with life's hurdles, it was another thing entirely to join the journey mid-stream and walk into someone's else's challenges with your eyes wide open. Suitcase number one.
*S-43 had suffered a bout of prostate cancer last year at 49, but he seemed to feel fine now. Though there were still some residual "kinks in the equipment," the doctors had assured him that the prognosis was good. More baggage; another heavy suitcase.
*S-43 assured Sarah that he and his ex had a friendly relationship but not TOO friendly. "We get on really well, and even though it would be easy to be "exes with benefits," we've avoided intimacy since our divorce, for the most part." For the most part??????? Suitcase number three!!!!!
*He had a severe allergic reaction to ant bites and carried an EPI-pen with him at all times.
*S-43 had been in the real estate business but since the economy tanked, he has had to look for a different line of work. He recently took bartending lessons and juggling classes and was hoping to open up a circus-themed bar called "Send in the Clowns." He described the decor for Sarah, a riotous mix of Barnum & Bailey memorabilia (which he'd luckily been collecting for forty years--ever since he attended a performance on his tenth birthday) and servers dressed as clowns. Before Sarah could stop him, S-43 pulled over one of the waiters at the restaurant and asked for five lemons, whole not sliced.
When she brought them to the table, S-43 regaled Sarah and the rest of the diners with an impromptu juggling performance. It was almost flawless, but he did send one lemon flying into a rather distinguished looking gentleman's lobster bisque. At that point, the restaurant manager gently asked S-43 to end the performance.
*S-43 also shared with Sarah that he has an odd little tattoo on his right butt cheek that says "No way!!"
He explained the tattoo's origins to Sarah with a very long and involved story that included a fraternity brother's dare and a bowl of vodka-filled strawberry jello.
By the end of the evening, Sarah knew all of the above facts about S-43 and a few others which are equally arbitrary and revealing. This is what he did NOT know about Sarah by the end of the evening:
*She has a violent fear of snakes and clowns.
*She wishes that she could be a mother.
"Her first marriage ended on the honeymoon.
*She hates red roses and loves yellow tulips.
"She owns a bakery called "Sarah's Sweet Cakes."
"She hates internet dating.
"He was her 43rd date from the Singles.com site.
*She is very close to her sister Abigail's children.
*She loves her mother but finds her controlling nature exhausting to deal with.
*She's allergic to almonds and often wakes up smelling the scent of fresh vanilla beans.
*She loves her yoga class and finds some of the poses make her insanely horny.
*She loves reading People Magazine and US Weekly but fervently denies her addiction.
*She is still waiting to have her adolescent rebellion.
*The World According to Garp was the book that turned her into a reader.
*If she were limited to one type of food and only that food for the rest of her life, she'd choose pickles over cake.
*The body part she is most proud of is her shockingly symmetrical toes.
*She adores roasted brussel sprouts.
*She once ate forty-three hotdogs in an hour to beat a boyfriend in a hotdog-eating contest.
*She secretly hopes to marry again on April 4th, 2014 the day that she turns 44. Considering that that date is only about 20 months away, Sarah realizes that it seems highly unlikely that her wish will come to pass.
These are things that S-43 DID know about Sarah by the end of the evening.
*She likes to cook.
*She grew up in Chicago.
*She is a very, very, very, very, very good listener.
Of course, it was a classic dating error, drinking more alcohol when the date is not going well in the hopes that the buzz will somehow make the evening more bearable. It rarely works and always leaves you feeling terrible the next morning. Today was no exception.
Sarah brewed a pot of ginger tea, making it extra strong the way she liked it, in the hope that it would settle both her head and stomach. Then she settled back into her cozy chair and tried to figure out why the evening had been so unsuccessful. The man she met for dinner, S-43, looked like the great uncle of the man whose smiling face she'd seen in his profile on the Singles.com website. Sarah always found it slightly disconcerting when men felt the need to showcase a younger, better-looking version of themselves in order to make a great cyber-impression. It made her want to be even more vigilant about posting updated photos of herself.
Sarah had kept a log of all the men she'd met on the site, and if she only met them once or twice, she continued to think of them by the numerical nickname she assigned them. S-43 was the forty-third man she'd met from the Singles site. Abby had given her an embroidered pillow once that said "There are plenty of fish in the sea....keep on casting!" Sarah was ready to retire her hook and she was starting to think that perhaps her lures were not all that alluring. The men she attracted were never captivating to her; in all honesty, she found most of them bored her to tears. Sometimes, she pretended that she was a reporter and the man across the table from her was some famous movie star or diplomat that she had to write a cover story about. The men usually loved this approach because they felt that Sarah was fascinated by them and eager to soak up each juicy drop of their life story.
S-43's story went something like this:
*Born in Indiana to a self-absorbed mother who had wanted to be an actress but never got out of the small town she'd been born in after getting knocked up by the local high school football star at 17.
*Raised by his mother and a fairly long list of step-fathers or "uncles" from her 6 marriages and assorted other relationships, he had always felt the lack of a dependable male role model.
*Put himself through Indiana State on a wrestling scholarship.
*Married his college sweetheart and moved to Chicago for a job opportunity with her father.
*Had three sons. Now ages 25, 22 and 20. The twenty-five year old had attended the Naval Academy and was now on a ship overseas. The middle son was graduating from Northwestern and would be looking for work for a year before probably going to Law School. The youngest had been their "problem child," finding himself in and out of rehab after multiple encounters with the law over drug-related charges. S-43 teared up when he spoke of him and Sarah felt moved by his fatherly devotion, but also a bit reluctant about getting involved with someone who had such large and unresolved parenting issues. It was one thing to marry and start a family and deal together with life's hurdles, it was another thing entirely to join the journey mid-stream and walk into someone's else's challenges with your eyes wide open. Suitcase number one.
*S-43 had suffered a bout of prostate cancer last year at 49, but he seemed to feel fine now. Though there were still some residual "kinks in the equipment," the doctors had assured him that the prognosis was good. More baggage; another heavy suitcase.
*S-43 assured Sarah that he and his ex had a friendly relationship but not TOO friendly. "We get on really well, and even though it would be easy to be "exes with benefits," we've avoided intimacy since our divorce, for the most part." For the most part??????? Suitcase number three!!!!!
*He had a severe allergic reaction to ant bites and carried an EPI-pen with him at all times.
*S-43 had been in the real estate business but since the economy tanked, he has had to look for a different line of work. He recently took bartending lessons and juggling classes and was hoping to open up a circus-themed bar called "Send in the Clowns." He described the decor for Sarah, a riotous mix of Barnum & Bailey memorabilia (which he'd luckily been collecting for forty years--ever since he attended a performance on his tenth birthday) and servers dressed as clowns. Before Sarah could stop him, S-43 pulled over one of the waiters at the restaurant and asked for five lemons, whole not sliced.
When she brought them to the table, S-43 regaled Sarah and the rest of the diners with an impromptu juggling performance. It was almost flawless, but he did send one lemon flying into a rather distinguished looking gentleman's lobster bisque. At that point, the restaurant manager gently asked S-43 to end the performance.
*S-43 also shared with Sarah that he has an odd little tattoo on his right butt cheek that says "No way!!"
He explained the tattoo's origins to Sarah with a very long and involved story that included a fraternity brother's dare and a bowl of vodka-filled strawberry jello.
By the end of the evening, Sarah knew all of the above facts about S-43 and a few others which are equally arbitrary and revealing. This is what he did NOT know about Sarah by the end of the evening:
*She has a violent fear of snakes and clowns.
*She wishes that she could be a mother.
"Her first marriage ended on the honeymoon.
*She hates red roses and loves yellow tulips.
"She owns a bakery called "Sarah's Sweet Cakes."
"She hates internet dating.
"He was her 43rd date from the Singles.com site.
*She is very close to her sister Abigail's children.
*She loves her mother but finds her controlling nature exhausting to deal with.
*She's allergic to almonds and often wakes up smelling the scent of fresh vanilla beans.
*She loves her yoga class and finds some of the poses make her insanely horny.
*She loves reading People Magazine and US Weekly but fervently denies her addiction.
*She is still waiting to have her adolescent rebellion.
*The World According to Garp was the book that turned her into a reader.
*If she were limited to one type of food and only that food for the rest of her life, she'd choose pickles over cake.
*The body part she is most proud of is her shockingly symmetrical toes.
*She adores roasted brussel sprouts.
*She once ate forty-three hotdogs in an hour to beat a boyfriend in a hotdog-eating contest.
*She secretly hopes to marry again on April 4th, 2014 the day that she turns 44. Considering that that date is only about 20 months away, Sarah realizes that it seems highly unlikely that her wish will come to pass.
These are things that S-43 DID know about Sarah by the end of the evening.
*She likes to cook.
*She grew up in Chicago.
*She is a very, very, very, very, very good listener.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Chapter Seven
Miriam unlocked the door to her study and surveyed the scene. As usual, there were towering stacks of books and papers taking up almost every inch of surface space in the cozy little room. This had always been Miriam's favorite room in the house. Phil used to say, "You love it best because you can lock all the rest of us out of it." It sounded like a criticism but he always said it with a smile, and Miriam knew that he was one of those rare men who actually appreciated his wife's eccentricities. Miriam paused for a moment because she could have sworn she heard Phil say his other favorite line:"Living with you, Mims, is like a carnival ride, ups, downs and upside-downs." Then she squeezed her way into the room and pushed Sadie off the desk chair so she could sit down. This wasn't the first time since Phil's death that she had felt his presence in a room. His ghostly presence was not troubling to her; in fact, Miriam actually found it comforting. She sometimes wished he'd make himself known more often. Perhaps he could move the curtains around a bit or turn some lights on and off. Miriam knew she would get a big kick out of that kind of ghostly bravado.
The stacks of books and papers would have been daunting to someone less driven than Miriam, but even at 76, her Type A personality was still going strong. Rona loved to tease her about it. Years ago, the Steinbergs had taken Rona and several of her kids on one of their family vacations to Provence where they had rented a big house. Every day, Miriam would read a list of options for the day divided into how many hours away from the house the outing would take. That is why her daily list became known as the "3-5-7's." Miriam always chose the 7-hour day trip, while Rona chose the 3 hour one and spent the rest of the day reading by the beautiful pool that overlooked hills covered with olive trees. Sarah had whispered to Rona at one point in the trip, "When I'm in charge of the universe, we will call the outing options "1-2-3's and somedays, we might never leave the house at all!"
The late evening sun was streaming through the pale yellow linen curtains and Miriam allowed herself a moment to enjoy the warmth before settling into her project. Using the hunt and peck method (having never learned to be a proficient typist), Miriam typed "Dolly the Sheep updates" into the google search bar. Dolly, the first mammal successfully cloned from an adult cell, had been born in July of 1996 and passed away about 6 1/2 years later. At the time, Miriam had not paid a lot of attention to the whole cloning debate. Usually, she came down on the side of science; she was, after all, a woman who had given her life to the pursuit of medicine and science was the goddess she worshipped. Recent events had motivated Miriam to find out more about the breakthroughs in cloning since Molly's death in 2003. Surely, substantial progress had been made.
A few weeks ago, when Miriam took Saul to the vet because of a limp he'd suddenly developed, she was told that poor Saul had a tumor on his spine that would eventually cause him to become paralyzed.
The news had hit Miriam hard; she realized that she'd relied heavily on the companionship of Saul and Sadie since Phil's death. Unlike another type of woman, Miriam spent no time railing against the inequity of the universe. Rather, her mind immediately tried to search for a solution. After the veterinarian who specialized in feline cancer gently assured Miriam that there was nothing to be done in Saul's case, Miriam searched her brain for other options. That is when the story of Dolly jumped into her head. Miriam's online research lead her to tons of info on SCNT or somatic cell nuclear transfer. Through her research, Miriam learned that the process involved the transfer of a living cell from an adult animal into an unfertilized egg from which the nucleus had already been removed.
Saul was such a gentle soul and such a loyal companion, why shouldn't she try to replicate his genetic perfection? Of course, the girls would be against the idea if they knew. They'd give her an awful time about messing with nature and perverting the natural order of life. That is why Miriam would not be sharing this project with them anytime soon. In fact, her "Necessary Honesty" policy was going to come in very handy with this little venture.
Miriam returned to the search engine screen and one of the entries farther down the page caught her eye. "Mary Shelley's doctor would feel right at home in San Diego lab." Miriam had not read Frankenstein since she was a sophomore at Mount Holyoke, but it had always been one of her favorite books. Of course, she thought that everyone came down too hard on the young doctor. Her classmates had seen Viktor Frankenstein's desire to create life as the epitome of hubris, but Miriam had admired his bravery. They had argued that only God should have the power to create life, but Miriam had held her ground. "If I could guarantee you the birth of a child free from birth defects or illness and with an astoundingly high IQ, would you honestly refuse?" To the best of Miriam's recollection, the professor had abruptly ended the debate and moved the class to a close reading of Shelley's husband, Percy Bysshe Shelley's, poetry.
Now, all these many years later, Miriam began to wonder again about the creation of life. The sheer grandeur of this project motivated her like nothing else had in recent years. Sure, Frankenstein's monster was physically loathsome, but he'd had the capacity to feel love and to learn. In Miriam's mind, he certainly wasn't a complete failure. Of course, she must acknowledge that he caused the deaths of most of Frankenstein's loved ones. Even Miriam had to admit that that was certainly a very high price to pay for scientific progress. So, she would proceed with caution. Miriam heard a gentle mew and looked down where Saul lay in the patch of sunlight streaming through the curtains. She knew what she had to do.
The stacks of books and papers would have been daunting to someone less driven than Miriam, but even at 76, her Type A personality was still going strong. Rona loved to tease her about it. Years ago, the Steinbergs had taken Rona and several of her kids on one of their family vacations to Provence where they had rented a big house. Every day, Miriam would read a list of options for the day divided into how many hours away from the house the outing would take. That is why her daily list became known as the "3-5-7's." Miriam always chose the 7-hour day trip, while Rona chose the 3 hour one and spent the rest of the day reading by the beautiful pool that overlooked hills covered with olive trees. Sarah had whispered to Rona at one point in the trip, "When I'm in charge of the universe, we will call the outing options "1-2-3's and somedays, we might never leave the house at all!"
The late evening sun was streaming through the pale yellow linen curtains and Miriam allowed herself a moment to enjoy the warmth before settling into her project. Using the hunt and peck method (having never learned to be a proficient typist), Miriam typed "Dolly the Sheep updates" into the google search bar. Dolly, the first mammal successfully cloned from an adult cell, had been born in July of 1996 and passed away about 6 1/2 years later. At the time, Miriam had not paid a lot of attention to the whole cloning debate. Usually, she came down on the side of science; she was, after all, a woman who had given her life to the pursuit of medicine and science was the goddess she worshipped. Recent events had motivated Miriam to find out more about the breakthroughs in cloning since Molly's death in 2003. Surely, substantial progress had been made.
A few weeks ago, when Miriam took Saul to the vet because of a limp he'd suddenly developed, she was told that poor Saul had a tumor on his spine that would eventually cause him to become paralyzed.
The news had hit Miriam hard; she realized that she'd relied heavily on the companionship of Saul and Sadie since Phil's death. Unlike another type of woman, Miriam spent no time railing against the inequity of the universe. Rather, her mind immediately tried to search for a solution. After the veterinarian who specialized in feline cancer gently assured Miriam that there was nothing to be done in Saul's case, Miriam searched her brain for other options. That is when the story of Dolly jumped into her head. Miriam's online research lead her to tons of info on SCNT or somatic cell nuclear transfer. Through her research, Miriam learned that the process involved the transfer of a living cell from an adult animal into an unfertilized egg from which the nucleus had already been removed.
Saul was such a gentle soul and such a loyal companion, why shouldn't she try to replicate his genetic perfection? Of course, the girls would be against the idea if they knew. They'd give her an awful time about messing with nature and perverting the natural order of life. That is why Miriam would not be sharing this project with them anytime soon. In fact, her "Necessary Honesty" policy was going to come in very handy with this little venture.
Miriam returned to the search engine screen and one of the entries farther down the page caught her eye. "Mary Shelley's doctor would feel right at home in San Diego lab." Miriam had not read Frankenstein since she was a sophomore at Mount Holyoke, but it had always been one of her favorite books. Of course, she thought that everyone came down too hard on the young doctor. Her classmates had seen Viktor Frankenstein's desire to create life as the epitome of hubris, but Miriam had admired his bravery. They had argued that only God should have the power to create life, but Miriam had held her ground. "If I could guarantee you the birth of a child free from birth defects or illness and with an astoundingly high IQ, would you honestly refuse?" To the best of Miriam's recollection, the professor had abruptly ended the debate and moved the class to a close reading of Shelley's husband, Percy Bysshe Shelley's, poetry.
Now, all these many years later, Miriam began to wonder again about the creation of life. The sheer grandeur of this project motivated her like nothing else had in recent years. Sure, Frankenstein's monster was physically loathsome, but he'd had the capacity to feel love and to learn. In Miriam's mind, he certainly wasn't a complete failure. Of course, she must acknowledge that he caused the deaths of most of Frankenstein's loved ones. Even Miriam had to admit that that was certainly a very high price to pay for scientific progress. So, she would proceed with caution. Miriam heard a gentle mew and looked down where Saul lay in the patch of sunlight streaming through the curtains. She knew what she had to do.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Chapter SIX
Sarah sat on the overstuffed orange gingham chair and stared at the phone. She had just hung up with Abigail, and Abby had filled her in on Miriam's latest mission: fixing up Sarah and Jeff. Ever since their dinner at The Urban Appetite, Miriam had been consumed with the idea that Sarah should become involved with Jeff. It didn't seem to phase Miriam at all that Jeff was reeling from a bad divorce and commuting back and forth from Seattle where his ex still lived with their fourteen year old twin daughters.
Sarah had shared all of this information with Miriam, on multiple occasions. Abby confirmed that she had also tried, without success, to steer Miriam clear of the Sarah + Jeff matchmaking mission.
"You know mom," Abby had said a few minutes earlier on the phone. "Once she gets an idea in her head, she's like a dog with a bone."
The sisters had laughed about it, but the truth was that at 42, Sarah was more than ready for Miriam to butt out of her love life. Sarah had always had a little secret crush on Jeff, but they lived in different states most of their adult lives and then she'd heard that he had married and started a family.
Besides, when they reconnected a few months ago when he came back to town to open the restaurant, he seemed like the walking wounded, barely functioning on auto-pilot. He was energized about his new venture, but he seemed incredibly depressed otherwise. He missed his daughters terribly and bemoaned the fact that his business partners wanted a Chicago restaurant rather than one in Seattle. On the one hand, Chicago was home, and he was happy to return to the city he'd grown up in. But, on the other hand, he was devastated about moving away from Kelly and Kate. The twins were old enough to fly back and forth to spend time with their dad when he couldn't get back to Seattle, but he knew it was a poor substitute for being together every day. When he showed her the site of the new restaurant, Jeff had confided in Sarah that, besides being a chef, parenting was the only thing he believed he really excelled at.
Sarah tried to get her mind to switch gears; she needed to work out the kinks in her new mini-bundt cake recipes. Her troubled lovelife would still be there waiting whenever she had a free minute to obsess about it. When Rara had come to the store to help her with the taste-testing, the Orange Creamsicle cake with the Basil-Orange Glaze had tasted sort of medicinal, definitely NOT the taste Sarah had been aiming for. That would need some tweaking before it could be given a test-drive at Sarah's Sweet Cakes. The other problem recipe was the Chocolate Surprise Cake with Mocha Ganache. The "surprise" was a mocha cream filling, but the one Rara tested was super sweet and she suggested that Sarah decrease the sugar in it by half.
Then, of course, there was also her monthly appointment with Dr. L. which was scheduled for later that afternoon. What lovely topic would she bring to Dr. L's office today? Sarah sometimes joked that her appointments felt like making a monthly pilgrimage to the Oracle at Delphi. With her waist-length gray hair piled in a neat and luxurious bun on top of her head and her red reading glassed perched there as well as if adding ornamentation, Dr. L. looked like Woody Allen's cinematic version of a shrink. Her tone of voice did not dispel that image either. She spoke with a fairly subtle British accent suffused with
warmth. She could be stern when she needed to be, especially when one of her beloved patients needed a reality check, but she was also capable of the most profound and genuine degree of empathy.
Sarah sometimes thought that Dr. L. was the mother she would have created for herself if she ran the universe, but she also knew that that thought was not entirely fair to Miriam. After all, Miriam was really not the maternal sort in the classic sense. She loved her daughters fiercely and loyally, but they
challenged her need to control her world, and she found that unsettling. Abby had done more of the things that Miriam had expected her daughters to do. She'd met and married a good man. She'd had three children who went to private school and took ballet lessons and played team sports and got good grades. Abby and her husband had also taken over the family clothing business when Miriam's brother, Leo needed to retire, and they had made Kahn's Menswear a greater success than its original owners could ever have dreamed.
Sarah had chosen a career that Miriam felt was too stereotypically female. Once, in a fit of anger, she had yelled at Sarah, "I didn't push my way past the glass ceiling to have my daughter settle down comfortably beneath it. Why would you waste your enormous intellect doing a task that anyone with a sixth grade education could do?"
That had hurt Sarah much more than she'd ever admitted, and she had been wary around Miriam for several years after that awful incident. Once Sarah's Sweet Cakes became a financial success, Miriam had backed down a bit. Lately, she had even been caught driving by to show off Sarah's shop to her new acquaintances. Sarah never acknowledged that she'd seen one of Miriam's drive-bys, but it made her feel good to know that her mother was proud of what she'd accomplished. That reminded her of one of Dr. L's favorite lines, "No honest human being will ever say that they are too old to seek their parents' approval. We want it. We need it. And when we don't get it, we feel incomplete."
Maybe that should be the topic of today's session, Sarah thought. Incompleteness. The feeling one has of living their life at 80%. Sarah wondered if it was common. Perhaps, it was even an epidemic. She remembered reading Betty Friedan's iconic book, The Feminine Mystique, in college and being fascinated by what Friedan called, "the problem that has no name." For generations of women, the nameless problem was an overwhelming sense of sadness, of being stuck in a life that did not fulfill them. Sarah's life was filled with choices and options, but there were things that she wanted that she couldn't have. Yes, they would talk about that today. She and the Oracle would discuss the missing 20%.
Sarah had shared all of this information with Miriam, on multiple occasions. Abby confirmed that she had also tried, without success, to steer Miriam clear of the Sarah + Jeff matchmaking mission.
"You know mom," Abby had said a few minutes earlier on the phone. "Once she gets an idea in her head, she's like a dog with a bone."
The sisters had laughed about it, but the truth was that at 42, Sarah was more than ready for Miriam to butt out of her love life. Sarah had always had a little secret crush on Jeff, but they lived in different states most of their adult lives and then she'd heard that he had married and started a family.
Besides, when they reconnected a few months ago when he came back to town to open the restaurant, he seemed like the walking wounded, barely functioning on auto-pilot. He was energized about his new venture, but he seemed incredibly depressed otherwise. He missed his daughters terribly and bemoaned the fact that his business partners wanted a Chicago restaurant rather than one in Seattle. On the one hand, Chicago was home, and he was happy to return to the city he'd grown up in. But, on the other hand, he was devastated about moving away from Kelly and Kate. The twins were old enough to fly back and forth to spend time with their dad when he couldn't get back to Seattle, but he knew it was a poor substitute for being together every day. When he showed her the site of the new restaurant, Jeff had confided in Sarah that, besides being a chef, parenting was the only thing he believed he really excelled at.
Sarah tried to get her mind to switch gears; she needed to work out the kinks in her new mini-bundt cake recipes. Her troubled lovelife would still be there waiting whenever she had a free minute to obsess about it. When Rara had come to the store to help her with the taste-testing, the Orange Creamsicle cake with the Basil-Orange Glaze had tasted sort of medicinal, definitely NOT the taste Sarah had been aiming for. That would need some tweaking before it could be given a test-drive at Sarah's Sweet Cakes. The other problem recipe was the Chocolate Surprise Cake with Mocha Ganache. The "surprise" was a mocha cream filling, but the one Rara tested was super sweet and she suggested that Sarah decrease the sugar in it by half.
Then, of course, there was also her monthly appointment with Dr. L. which was scheduled for later that afternoon. What lovely topic would she bring to Dr. L's office today? Sarah sometimes joked that her appointments felt like making a monthly pilgrimage to the Oracle at Delphi. With her waist-length gray hair piled in a neat and luxurious bun on top of her head and her red reading glassed perched there as well as if adding ornamentation, Dr. L. looked like Woody Allen's cinematic version of a shrink. Her tone of voice did not dispel that image either. She spoke with a fairly subtle British accent suffused with
warmth. She could be stern when she needed to be, especially when one of her beloved patients needed a reality check, but she was also capable of the most profound and genuine degree of empathy.
Sarah sometimes thought that Dr. L. was the mother she would have created for herself if she ran the universe, but she also knew that that thought was not entirely fair to Miriam. After all, Miriam was really not the maternal sort in the classic sense. She loved her daughters fiercely and loyally, but they
challenged her need to control her world, and she found that unsettling. Abby had done more of the things that Miriam had expected her daughters to do. She'd met and married a good man. She'd had three children who went to private school and took ballet lessons and played team sports and got good grades. Abby and her husband had also taken over the family clothing business when Miriam's brother, Leo needed to retire, and they had made Kahn's Menswear a greater success than its original owners could ever have dreamed.
Sarah had chosen a career that Miriam felt was too stereotypically female. Once, in a fit of anger, she had yelled at Sarah, "I didn't push my way past the glass ceiling to have my daughter settle down comfortably beneath it. Why would you waste your enormous intellect doing a task that anyone with a sixth grade education could do?"
That had hurt Sarah much more than she'd ever admitted, and she had been wary around Miriam for several years after that awful incident. Once Sarah's Sweet Cakes became a financial success, Miriam had backed down a bit. Lately, she had even been caught driving by to show off Sarah's shop to her new acquaintances. Sarah never acknowledged that she'd seen one of Miriam's drive-bys, but it made her feel good to know that her mother was proud of what she'd accomplished. That reminded her of one of Dr. L's favorite lines, "No honest human being will ever say that they are too old to seek their parents' approval. We want it. We need it. And when we don't get it, we feel incomplete."
Maybe that should be the topic of today's session, Sarah thought. Incompleteness. The feeling one has of living their life at 80%. Sarah wondered if it was common. Perhaps, it was even an epidemic. She remembered reading Betty Friedan's iconic book, The Feminine Mystique, in college and being fascinated by what Friedan called, "the problem that has no name." For generations of women, the nameless problem was an overwhelming sense of sadness, of being stuck in a life that did not fulfill them. Sarah's life was filled with choices and options, but there were things that she wanted that she couldn't have. Yes, they would talk about that today. She and the Oracle would discuss the missing 20%.
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